Stop the Presses
by KittenRainbow
Summary: When Sonic and Tails are hired to be secret reporters, Sonic takes his job too seriously and starts writing lies and rumors about all the people of Toad Town, including Wolfie Mario, Mr. L, Luigi, Daisy and Peach. But what will happen when they find out who's writing all these lies? Read and review, and hope you like!
1. Chapter 1

"Okay, listen here, rookies," Mr. Toadmorton, head of the _Mushroom Gazette_, said gruffly to Sonic and Tails, the two newest members of the committee. "Y'all are gonna be reporters, meaning you gonna go out there and fetch me some juicy stories for our paper. Fail that task, and I'll kick you outta here so hard you gonna think this was only a dream."

"Yes, sir!" the two said immediately, saluting him. It was lucky that they had been employed; they really needed the money. Sonic had accidentally eaten the whole stash of chili dogs down at the Fire Flower Diner and had been unable to pay it back. Tails didn't have a debt, but he pitched in because he could use a little extra cash for himself.

"Now, remember, the people want to read about excitement! They want delicious stories that they can savor upon!" their boss continued.

Sonic and Tails shared a look.

"So, I better not see any of those little hand-me-down stories that no one cares about! I want spicy stories, ones that will stay in everyone's mind forever!" Mr. Toadmorton walked over, picked up two reporter's hats, and slammed them down onto Sonic and Tails's heads. "Now, get out there, and don't come back until you give me the scoop!"

"What flavor?" Tails asked, holding out an ice-cream gallon that wasn't there before. "I have Neapolitan, so that means you can choose from three-"

"I said get out there!" Mr. Toadmorton shouted, pointing to the door.

Sonic and Tails quickly nodded and scurried out of there like their feet were on fire. "W-We're right on it, sir!" they called.

* * *

"So, uh, what exactly would qualify as a juicy story, Sonic?" Tails asked as the two made their way through the mushroom-themed village of Toad Town.

"I don't know. Not much happens in this place," Sonic replied, feeling bored already. He looked at a burning building that had lots of Toads running around like crazies. "I mean, look at this! This is no juicy story to write about!"

Tails raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the building on fire. "I-I'm pretty sure some Toads would like to hear about a blazing fire-"

"Nah, don't think so," the blue hedgehog replied nonchalantly, cutting his friend's words off. He stayed quiet for a while, wondering how he and Tails would get a headlines-worthy story to give to Mr. Toadmorton. As he thought, his eye caught a nearby newsstand on the edge of the street. He noticed that out of all the Toads that came there to buy papers, the majority skipped the news and went straight to the tabloids.

_Hmm... _he thought. Then his face lit up. "That's it!"

"That's what?" the two-tailed fox asked, watching as a fire department arrived at the fire and started putting it out.

"The real reason why most stories don't make headlines is 'cause they're real and boring!" Sonic exclaimed, praising himself for his "genius" idea. "I mean, think about it! All fact and text, no Toad in his right mind would read that junk! They all look at the ones that are usually from tabloids, you know, the ones that are fun to read!"

"But don't those lie about people?" Tails asked, not liking where this was going.

"Tails, my friend, don't think about it as _lying_," Sonic said, enunciating his words in such a way as though the fox was simple-minded. "Think about it as..._enhancing the truth! _It's basically just making the boring seem exciting!"

Before Tails could reply, Sonic took his arm and started leading him towards a white building that read Star Jewelry Store. "Come on, buddy, we'll have a story that Mr. Toadmorton's gonna love in no time!"

* * *

"I love it! You guys are awesome!" Mr. Toadmorton said, waving the paper that the two reporters had written. "Look at this! _Victor Star, Brother of Abbie, Robs a Jewelry Store_! This is paper GOLD! We'll publish it right away!" The large Toad immediately ran out of the room, humming a tune to himself. _  
_

"Told ya he'd love it," Sonic said smugly to his friend, crossing his arms.

"But Victor didn't rob the jewelry store, he was only buying some Boo Crystals," Tails contradicted uneasily.

"All those valuable rocks? I don't think so!" Sonic shot back.

"Well, you know the Star Family are royals! Of course he had that much money; they're all rich!" Tails said again. "Let's not lie again, okay?"

The hedgehog turned toward his friend. "Tails, this job is all we got! You know I gotta pay that chili dog bill! Please, just wait until I get enough cash, then we can quit, promise!"

Tails sighed. "Okay...just until you can pay off your debt, then we quit and stop writing for the paper."


	2. Chapter 2

It turned out that Sonic and Tails's..."story" was a success. All the citizens in Toad Town had picked up the Mushroom Gazette and read all about Victor's jewelry-robbing heist (although some knew it wasn't actually true). The members of the committee who were in charge of printing the paper had not put Sonic and Tails's names in print; instead, they were called Quick X (to make sure they were anonymous), as suggested by Sonic.

"This is great, Tails!" the blue hedgehog said happily as the two reporters were given their paychecks. "A few weeks of this and I'll finally be able to pay off that debt! Then, if we keep this up, we'll be rich!"

"But Sonic, I thought you said we would stop as soon as you can pay your bill!" Tails interrupted. "You know I don't like lying about people!"

"Tails, it's not lying, it's enhancing the truth!" Sonic said, annoyed at his friend. "Now, get a grip, Mr. Toadmorton wants us to get a story that will top the last one!"

"But what kind of story will top a jewelry heist?" Tails asked nervously.

"Royal humiliation," Sonic said smugly. "That's what's gonna top it."

* * *

Later, in the royal castle, Peach was walking toward the kitchen to get something to eat, when she spotted Luigi and Daisy at the table. Luigi was trying to console Daisy, who was ignoring him and quickly eating all the diet salads in the place.

"What on earth is going on?" Peach asked, surprised.

"Someone named Quick X wrote something about Daisy in the newspaper and now she's freaked out!" Luigi answered, a little worried. He picked up the paper that was on the table and showed it to the pink-clad princess. "Look!"

When Peach saw the paper, her eyes widened. "'Princess Daisy overweight'?" she read out loud. "'Local Sarasaland Royal Bitten Off More Than She Can Chew'?! Who would write such a lie?"

"I don't know, but now Daisy believes it!" Luigi said. He then turned to Daisy and tried to take away the salad. "You don't need this, you're fine!" he said.

But the floral princess immediately yanked back the diet food. "No, look at me! I'm a friggin' whale with all this blubber!" she cried as she started eating it feverishly again.

Peach and Luigi shared a look as Daisy continued eating her salad. "I don't know what the newspaper is thinking, but this is crazy," Luigi said.

"Don't worry, it's just a printed story," Peach said, somewhat uneasily. Just give it some time, and it'll all blow over."

* * *

Peach was right - sort of. After a few days, people had mostly forgotten about Daisy's "weight problem", but she was still ridiculed by a few. However, that didn't mean it was all over. Every day, there were new headlines on the Mushroom Gazette, all about different people. Some were funny, but most were rather mean. Some headlines said that Toadette wore shroom extensions, Toadsworth had a cloning machine that populated the village, and that Yoshi was not a dinosaur, but actually a Koopa who had gotten a face lift. All were dreadful lies and rumors, but the worst part was that a lot of the citizens believed it.

However, Mr. Toadmorton loved it. Of course, he didn't know that the stories were false, he was just pleased that their little newspaper was a huge hit. It was earning them money so that they could get their printing machine fixed and other machines upgraded. Plus, his gold tooth was being satisfied.

Sonic was also happy, as well. He never really liked these Toads, anyway. He always thought that they were only a mere bunch of simpletons. And now, that he had this...ability to lie about people and get away from it (since he and Tails were anonymous), he felt that he could take it a step further. Maybe get some...revenge on the ones he despised...like a certain black-clad figure.

However, Tails was the only one (besides the people the paper had written about) who did not like this idea at all. He had only agreed to help Sonic pay off his debt, not lie about people. All of this rumor-spreading was unnerving him. Maybe he should tell the truth before it goes too far...if only he had the chance.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few days later of rumor-spreading that things began to take a turn for the worse.

In the royal castle, Peach, Luigi and Wolfie Mario were contently reading (well, Mario was looking at the pictures) in the living room, when a loud knocking was heard at the main doors. All three jumped at the loud sound and turned toward the entrance.

"Who is that?" Peach asked, putting down her novel.

Before anyone could answer, the main doors slammed open, nearly falling off their hinges. Mr. L himself stormed in, holding something rolled up in his hand, looking furious. Seeing the trio in the living room, he made a beeline for them.

"Mario, get behind me," Luigi said to his brother, who quickly obeyed. He stood up and held his arms out a little, readying them if the black-clad figure should attack. "What do you want, L?" he called.

"Who in the HELL wrote this story about me?!" Mr. L replied angrily. He held out the thing he had in his hand, which turned out to be the latest edition of the Mushroom Gazette. His eyes were blazing silver, with a tint of red in them.

"Let me see that," Luigi said, taking the paper. His eyes widened when he saw the headlines, and he wasn't sure if he should laugh or be shocked. "_Mr. L In Love With a Mop_?!" he read out loud. The picture shown was clearly one that had some Photoshop work on it. It showed Mr. L in his kitchen doing some kind of dance with it, along with tiny hearts floating among them.

"What on earth?" Peach asked incredulously.

Mario couldn't help but giggle at the headline. It just sounded so silly to him.

"I don't know who wrote that or how they took that picture of me, but I can say that I am not in love with any mop!" Mr. L yelled, his volume making the windows rattle.

"Okay, calm down, please?" Luigi said, holding out his hand on front of him. "I'm pretty sure that whoever wrote this was just joking, okay? How could anyone believe it?"

"Oh, do you think this is a joke now, do you?" Mr. L shot back. "Why don't you read the rest of the story, then? It goes into exquisite detail on how I met the mop, took it on its first date, took it out for a romantic dinner, and how I'm planning to marry it! I'm sure lots of people will laugh and have a good time about it, don't you think?"

"Well, um-" Luigi started to say.

But the black-clad figure wasn't finished. "And that photo! How did they even find my house? I don't go around giving my address to every Toad around here, do I?" He started pacing around, clutching the paper in his fists. He was so mad that his hands were shaking and his head was spinning. "Oh, when I find out who did this, I'm gonna rip their arms out!"

* * *

It was no coincidence that Sonic and Tails were watching the scene unfold from one of the windows.

"Oh, man, this is classic!" Sonic laughed. "I've always wanted to get back at that guy for kicking my can all this time, and now here it is!"

Tails was not seeming too enthusiastic. "But Sonic, Mr. L said he would rip our arms out if he found out we were the ones who wrote it! That doesn't sound very pleasant."

"That's why he's not going to find out, duh!" Sonic said, tapping his knuckles on Tails's head. "Don't worry, our arms are safe! Now let's get back to work and find another sucker to use for our stories!"

As the eager blue hedgehog raced off back to the newspaper office, Tails sighed. "This is not going to end well," he said. "I wish he'd stop..."

* * *

As it turned out, Daisy and Mr. L weren't the only ones to be "featured" in Quick X's article. A few days later, a new issue of the paper came out, with bold headlines talking about a specific Mushroom royal...

"_Princess Peach Makes Her Hair Dye_?!" Luigi read the paper out loud, shocked at what he was seeing. In the article, it went into great explanation on how Peach used a secret formula made out of Starmans and Tanooki leaves to dye her hair to the present blonde color and how she used to be a dark-haired brunette. The picture shown was clearly Photoshopped as well, but this one was done better than Mr. L's picture.

"Oh, this is simply an outrage!" Peach shouted, her cheeks red with anger. She paced back and forth, her hands brushing through her golden hair feverishly, almost yanking some strands out. "I always had blonde hair, and I was never a brunette! How dare they publish such a false story about me?!"

"Welcome to the club, princess," Mr. L stated from his place on the sofa. He was still very mad about the previous rumor about him, and having a lot of Toads comment on it didn't help. But he didn't think he should be mad at _every_ single person who laughed or giggled. He took a cookie out of the open package next to him and fed it to Mario, who was sitting in his lap. The little wolf took the cookie and munched on it happily.

"I've got half a mind to head to that newspaper office and report this...deceitful story to the manager!" Peach continued, slamming the paper down on the table. She didn't see a little hand reach for it afterward.

"I don't think you'll get much out of that," Daisy said from her place next to Luigi. "I tried going there to see what was up with their stories, but they wouldn't let me talk to the manager, they wouldn't tell me who Quick X really was, and they wouldn't give me one of their complimentary pens as I was leaving!"

"People's reputations are at stake here, and you're mad about not getting a complimentary pen?" Luigi asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, those pens had glitter ink, okay?" Daisy replied, crossing her arms. "You can't get those for free anymore..."

"Right now, that doesn't matter," Peach said, still pacing back and forth. "We have to find out who is Quick X and stop him or her before they write lies about every single person here!"

"Guys, look," Mr. L said suddenly.

When Peach, Luigi and Daisy turned around, they saw that Mario had folded the newspaper that had been thrown by Peach into something.

"I made a paper crane! Isn't it cute?" the little wolf asked happily as he held up the tiny paper crane, making it flap its wings.


	4. Chapter 4

"This can't be!" Sonic exclaimed a few days later."We couldn't have written about everyone here already!"

"Well, I can't think of anyone else who we haven't tarnished the reputation of," Tails said, mildly annoyed with his friend's behavior.

"No, I don't believe that!" the blue hedgehog said, pacing around the room. "We must have missed a person or two! Did we write about Yoshi?"

"Yes, we said he was a Koopa with a face lift," Tails replied, looking through the issues.

"What about Bowser?"

"We wrote about him, too. We said that he adopted the Koopalings, remember?" the two-railed fox answered. "That one must have been a pretty big blow to him..."

"Toadette? Starlow? Prince Dreambert?" Sonic kept asking, starting to panic.

"Yes, yes and yes," Tails said. "We've written about them all."

"Darn it!" Sonic yelled in desperation. "There has to be someone who we've missed! What about the Mario Bros.? Didn't we write a story about them?"

Tails's eyes widened. They had not written a story about the two brothers. Not wanting to write lies about them, he tried to think of an alibi. "Uh...yes, we already did."

Sonic sensed that he was not hearing the truth. "Then what did we say about them?" Tails was trying to think of a suitable story. "Um...we said that...uh..."

"I knew it!" the blue hedgehog said happily. "I knew we were missing a few people! Now let's stop fooling around and find a story about those two brothers! I guess it's a good thing that you're a terrible liar, huh, Tails?" With that final statement, Sonic jumped off from his desk and raced off.

Tails sighed and got up. "This really has to stop now...and I gotta find a way to do it..."

* * *

Four days later, Luigi was at the Mushroom Market with Mario, getting a few essential goods for Peach and for themselves. However, while they were shopping, Luigi couldn't help but notice that some Toads were looking at him funny, as though he had grown an extra head or something. Some Toads were even pointing at him and whispering.

"Why are they looking at me like that...?" Luigi asked himself softly.

As the two brothers were standing in the check-out line, there were more whispers and looks from the other shoppers. It was really starting to unnerve Luigi. What was going on?

"M-Mr. Luigi?" a small voice asked. Luigi looked down and saw a small Toad child, wearing a beanie on his head. "Do you really have a fake mustache on?"

Luigi was taken completely by surprise. "What?!"

"Toady Jr.! Don't do that!" the Toad's mother said as she came over and took his hand. Glancing at Luigi, the same funny look appeared on her face, but then she walked away with her kid in tow. "Come on, let's get back in line."

Luigi's mouth was still open with disbelief. Where did this kid get the assumption that his mustache was fake? His stache was awesome! Second only to Mario's, he took very good care of it, trimming it when necessary and waxing it, too. It was not fake!

"Luigi..." Mario said, tapping softly on his brother's arm. "There's a new issue of the newspaper on the stands...and I think it has your picture in it..."

"My picture...?" the green-capped sibling asked in disbelief. He walked over from the checkout line to the stands, where there were a lot of Toads standing about. He picked up a copy of the Mushroom Gazette, read a few lines and gasped.

After paying some coins to the cashier, Mario quickly ran over to his brother's side, groceries in his hands. "What does it say, Weegee?" he asked.

"_Luigi's Mustache Secret_?!" Luigi read out loud. "_Younger sibling feels too much like second fiddle compared to his brother and decided to buy a fake mustache to redeem himself! Exclusive interview with Mario himself inside!_"

"What?!" the little wolf gasped, surprised to hear his own name in the article.

Luigi knew that the part about the fake stache was a complete lie, but he wasn't so sure about the interview part. He turned to Mario. "Did you have an interview with Quick X?" he asked, feeling a bit suspicious.

Mario shook his head. He had never done any interview with anyone. "No, I haven't, Weegee," he said. "Who's Quick X, anyway?"

Confused, Luigi flipped a few pages to try and find the interview. When he did find it, he understood. Quick X had made up a false interview, since he knew that Mario didn't talk in that way. Plus, the "vocabulary" got pretty...colorful, for lack of a better word.

When Luigi looked up, he noticed that a small crowd has gathered around the two brothers. "Guys, listen," he said, hoping to redeem himself. "Don't believe what the paper says; it's all lies! My stache is real, see?" Luigi tugged on his mustache a little, showing that it was not a toy.

"Yeah, as if that's true! You probably just glued it on!" a Blue Toad said, pointing.

"Please, you have to believe me! It's not fake, I'm telling you!" Luigi said.

"Sure, and I'm the president of the BeanBean kingdom!" another Toad said, laughing to himself as he walked away, along with the rest of the crowd.


	5. Chapter 5

Luigi stormed in through the front door of the castle, muttering angrily to himself. Mario came in behind him, feeling slightly nervous as he carried the groceries, trying not to drop them.

"Why wouldn't those darn Toads believe me? They wouldn't know a real 'stache if it slapped them in the face!" Luigi was saying to himself in a low, mad voice.

When the two brothers walked in the kitchen, it was clear that the newspaper story had spread to more than just the market.

"Wow, I didn't think the newspaper lies would get to this," Daisy said, showing the paper to Peach, who was sipping some royal Shroom Tea. "They said that Luigi has a fake mustache!"

Peach nearly choked on her tea as she took a glance at the paper herself. "What?! That is simply preposterous!" she exclaimed. "Luigi's mustache is just as real as Mario's!"

"Besides, if it was actually fake, I wouldn't have a fancy 'stache myself," Mr. L added, tweaking the tip of his own mustache.

"And those Toads at the market didn't believe me!" Luigi said, making everyone look at him. "I even tugged on it and those guys still thought it was fake!"

"Wow, are they really that dumb?" Mr. L asked, genuinely surprised that the Toads could be so naive and accusing. As if they didn't already have a story written about themselves! They were still gonna make fun of a fellow victim? Now that was just stupid of them. "You know what, come on. I don't do this with anyone but Mario, but you need a rest and some lunch at the Grand Star Diner."

All eyes went wide. "Th-The Grand Star Diner?! You mean that super-duper awesome restaurant that only the richest people get into? Oh, I heard that place has the best food ever!" Daisy exclaimed.

"But that place is impossible to get in without a premium membership and an advanced reservation! Even I have a hard time getting in!" Peach said. "How are you going to do it?"

Smiling, Mr. L reached into his pocket and held up a gold-colored card with a tiny picture of a Grand Star and his name on it, making Luigi, Daisy and Peach gasp. "Gold card, with premium access, of the highest rank possible."

"How did you get that?!" Daisy exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"Let's just say I have my special ways," Mr. L answered simply. He walked over and took Luigi's arm. "Oh, Mario has a gold card, too, but if I see anyone hassling him about it, I will make you regret it," he warned before leading Luigi out the door.

Peach and Daisy couldn't help looking at Mario, who had just finished putting the groceries away. When he turned and saw them staring, he turned shy and blushed. "What...?"

"Why would Mr. L offer to take Luigi to the Grand Star Diner?" Peach asked, the thought confusing her slightly. "I mean, those two aren't really the best of friends..."

"Yeah, plus I don't see how a mustache story is worth being treated to the fanciest diner in history," Daisy asked, crossing her arms. "I didn't see anyone wanting to take me there when _I _was being made fun of about my weight..."

"Oh, well, Luigi's mustache is very special to him, just like any other man," Mario explained simply. "It's like if someone found your most precious possession and made fun of it. And I guess since Mr. L doesn't like being made fun of, he wanted to help Luigi feel better."

"Aww, that was nice of him," Peach said, glad that the black-clad figure was not entirely demented.

"He's always nice, it's just that not everyone sees it," the little wolf said. "He's the one who got me the gold card, anyway."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Please take us to the Grand Star Diner sometime!" the two of them said simultaneously. "We really, really wanna go!"

* * *

"Well, that didn't go as planned, did it?" Sonic asked Tails. The two of them had been spying on the group from a window, as usual. But this time, their reaction was quite different.

"Luigi got treated to the best diner ever AND he got Mr. L's sympathy?!" Tails exclaimed, as surprised as the princesses. "Wow, that mustache is really something, then..."

"Well, at least the Toads in the market ridiculed him," Sonic muttered, drumming his fingers in the windowsill. He was really hoping for the black-clad figure to make fun of his light counterpart.

"Is that it, then? We're done writing for the paper, at last?" Tails asked, a small bubble of hope rising. "Are we finally done with wrecking people's social lives and their reputations, so we can get back to our normal lives?"

"Heck no, we're not! Are you crazy, Tails?" Sonic exclaimed, playfully grabbing his friend in a headlock and rubbing his hair. "We still have one more person we haven't written about yet! This story should be the biggest one yet!"

"But who would that be...?" Tails asked, getting out of Sonic's grip.

Sonic grinned deviously and pointed through the window at the little wolf. "That last person would be Mario."

* * *

A/N: I figured Luigi should be treated to the diner since a mustache_ is_ special to any well-meaning man. :3


End file.
